Bitchicisms

Well yes. Bv is now evil.

Funny how you start to avoid certain places things and people and it acquires this monumental image in your life. That was the kind of insane twisted place that bar where I met H,V and O took in my mind.

For fun, let's just take a moment to actually give a name to the bar. I'm sick and tired of referring to it as the place where I hooked up with so many guys who I ended up fucking. Let's call it the Den. Like Den of Lions or Dominatrix Den or something like that.

So I have avoided the Den since I stopped seeing H. It was part self preservation part moping.

Last night started out like a typical Friday. I was supposed to go with E and Bv to a club where I could dance and get my groove on. Shit hit the fan when this upscale bar we wanted to hit was closed for renovation. Actually there was already an upgraded bar, which meant more expensive. We tried to go to another bar, but it was....not conducive for dancing. We ended up in line for another bar.

In line, there was this Arabic dude who kept giving me the eye. He looked at me from head to toe and I guess he was waiting for me to acknowledge him. I didn't. Bv and E were whining. I suddenly said, "I have a really evil thought, let's go to Den."

Now, O has recently brought up the chance of me going to Den and seeing H again. I've been worried about it, since I was about to resign and I wanted to remain friends with O. I adore O. Regardless of the whole crazy groping and sexual thing. I want to remain friends with him for a very long time.

However friendship with O meant I would eventually have to learn to be friendly, or at the very least, civil with H and possibly V. V is not a problem. He was the one who got weird after he got a girlfriend. V. well now. That's totally different.

I'd gone back to Den after I stopped seeing H. But that was on a night when I was sure he wouldn't be there.

So last night, I asked C where he was. And he said he was at another club but that he was gonna hit Den after. So Bv, E and I decided to go to the club where C was. We left and got into the car. As our car was passing by the front of the club we had just decided to leave, I saw the Arabian guy. And he growled at me. Think Simba gone horribly wrong. It was really gross.

On the way to the club where C was, Bv started telling me to face my demons for Christmas and try to see H and face him and suck it up and deal with it.

So we went. And H was there. His new girlfriend was there. V was there. V's girlfriend was there. And eventually C was there with a girl who might eventually but is currently not his girlfriend.

H was trying to be nice. It's funny. I have no actual desire to be friends with H. I know someday I would have to deal with him if I want to be friends with O.

I felt really queasy about going. I didn't want to look at him. Sure we spoke. I thought I was fine. But Bv has just pointed out that I was trying to be standoffish and cool. He said I was trying too hard.

A part of me wanted to go to Den. Partly because I knew I looked hot last night. it was a pretty good hair day.

Good thing Bv's friends came. 3 guys and a girl. The girl was really hot. She admitted being bi and I just felt this insane energy and I wanted her.

The guys were cute too. Somehow they all looked like someone I'd slept with.

I thanked Bv for bringing me. It was cathartic and final and just insanely finished.

Bye bye H. Bye bye meaningless sexual conquests of Den. Bye bye V and the rest and everyone who knew I'd had sex with a lot of people from there. Den is just another bar. I don't see what the big deal was.