Bitchicisms

I've been away from this blog for a long long time. Here's my list of excuses:

1. I've been really busy with work and projects.
2. I've mostly been sticking to one (or three) sexual entanglements.
3. My regular lover has kept sexual frustration nil and I have less to rant about.
4. I've had other things on the brain (like needlecrafts, would you believe that?).

But like fine whiskey and younger men, my Bitchicisms blog haunts me and just begs for it. So I'm back.

I've realized that I had a few readers in the past, people who I've drawn in with regular posts to certain yahoo groups and blog lists I've now lost. My yahoo email has reset and I've lost all contact. Please help me (re)build a following and I promise to keep coming and coming and coming for you.

They say men are obsessed with quantity. Well, that and size. It's all about who has more, and who has it bigger. But they don't apply the same principles to women.

One late, boring night at the office, I got stuck with 2 men. As is wont to do when I'm around, the conversation got to sex. Contrary to most porn movies, we did not end up in a threesome where they Eiffel-Towered me. Instead they ended up shocked and awed when I told them my number.

I've had sex with 32 guys. That's 32 men, not 32 times. I started when I was 18 and never looked back. I keep a list of who I've slept with so that I never miss a name. Some of the names on the list I'd almost forgotten, and barely remember the encounter. Some of them I've mentioned several times on this blog because they're so good (or bad) in bed.

I should've known it was a mistake to bring numbers up. I'd only asked because I'd assume they would have more than 5 (the number which they both gave). They'd seemed so adventurous, surpassing me in the "where's the strangest place you've done it" round.

But they were both shocked to pieces when I gave my number (which is in fact 8x the global average according to the last Durex worldwide sex survey). They appeared to have never met a woman with that number, one even said that he once scolded an ex because she'd slept with 5 guys.

But really, if you've been having sex for 9 years, 32 only comes up to 3 1/2 men a year on average. It's not that much.

I know I sound apologetic. But I've been concerned about this number before. I'm afraid my number makes me...well...strange. And I've always been afraid that this strangeness is bad. I've never aimed to go for 32, even if I'd occasionally played at aiming to have at least one entry for each letter in the alphabet (but I seem to have a penchant for meeting men with the same name at the same time).

Sometimes I fear that my number shows on my face. That it makes me too slutty. Or that I'm too obvious. But I realize, strange isn't bad. There is nothing wrong with 32. I don't particularly regret any of them, and even my sexual mistakes were made on my own terms. I've never been shy about getting laid if I wanted, and it's saved me years of sexual frustration.

Having sex with over 32 men (I'm not dead yet, and will probably be adding) is not a problem. As long as I don't tell the wrong people about it.

Well.

Guess the bitch wants to keep coming.