Bitchicisms

I have been sleep deprived for some time now. Several days which stretch out to weeks which turns into months. Its working 2 jobs. And writing/ blogging/ watching my DVDs and reading.

But amazingly, I was able to hit some serious REM stage shuteye last night. I ended up dreaming about recently reunited best friend E. In the dream E had one of her infamous breakdowns and jumped off a bridge into a river to emerge naked. Yes it made no sense. But some words of Dream E stayed with me. "Since you know how I am you wouldn't be surprised if I did this'" she said before she jumped.

And yes Dream E was right. I was used to her crap. I used to worry about her. Now I don't. I guess I've stopped caring.

Girls have this weird insane thing called friendship. A friendship between women is intense and emotional and sexual and painful all at the same time. I've honestly had sex dreams about all my really good girl friends. And the sex dreams were very realistic.

I've also ragged on almost all my friends at one point in time. About how they treated me, how they really weren't as pretty as they thought they were. About what they were doing wrong with their lives.

Girls have this whole weird plethora of hate and envy and anger and jealousy that never really comes out. Boys have this too. But they resolve it pretty quickly with a fistfight. Girls either ignore it or get over it.

I'm sure I'm not the only one like this. My friends have all at one point or another made snide remarks about my weight, my looks and my life. And yes I envy people who can live in complete and total harmony.

However. My girls are fierce, messed up and slightly psychotic creatures who have some self esteem issues and a lot of self love. Some friction is understandable.