Bitchicisms

Is it abnormal to masturbate to completion 3 times a day? I mean, is that so wrong?

Some guys are amazed that I do this. It's not common for girls I think. Hell I still know girls who don't even know how to masturbate, which is very very sad. There's nothing wrong with masturbation, or self-love or rubbing one out. It's very stimulating and relaxing and relieves stress. If I don't do it at least once a day I get very very cranky and annoyed and upset. Whenever I have events that entitle me to share a room and bathroom with other people for a long time, the first thing I do when I get to my own room is fuck myself.

I don't do it with toys or implements. I have two hands after all. Though I may some day invest in a good vibrator just to see what it's like. I have experimented with a mini massager that is somehow like a small bullet vibe, but it's still quite different.

I started masturbating when I was about...well...I'm not quite sure...11 or 12 I guess. I stumbled across a book that was stashed somewhere in the house. The book was old, the pages were brown and the covers were torn off. My favorite position then was lying on top of a long pillow, my body nestled perfectly in that softness, as I read whatever books I could get my hands on.
This particular book was very naughty. It was an adult romance novel, where I originally thought the word "loins" was a typo for lions and could not imagine why people would feel a burning in the king of the jungle.

I read the book, becoming more and more interested the longer I read. Soon I felt a warmth spreading somewhere, that place that people apparently called loins. It seemed almost natural to rub my pussy against the pillow and rock my body gently. Back and forth and back and forth caressing my then hidden flower. It felt good so I kept doing it faster and faster, the book forgotten. Then the sparks came, the electricity shooting from the center of my body racing down my legs and coursing through my arms. That started it.

I started searching for those discarded tabloids in the house, the ones that had those similar passages in sleazier terms. In fact the sleaze had a harder effect on me. I guess because they were so taboo and base that I kept coming and coming and feeling those waterfalls of diamonds and waves of pleasure the adult novels kept referring to.

I got older and started experimenting with my hands. Using a mirror to stare at my pussy, shaving all my pubic hair off, tracing the folds of my labia, playing with my nipples, at one point licking my own nipples (I used to be able to reach them with my tongue, now I can't cos they got smaller when I lost weight, damn), finding all my sensitive spots, my wrists, of course my nipples, my thighs, certainly my clit.

Porn still doesn't do it for me. I bookmarked an erotica site so that I could access their stories 24/7. Sure they're written by amateurs and some of them suck but some are really good. I also have stored erotica by Anne Rice that can give me what I want. Some porn turns me on, not all of it though. I'd rather use my imagination sometimes.

O once asked me what I think of when I touch myself. Aside from erotica, I think about people I've fucked or people I would like to fuck. At this point I rarely fantasize about celebrities. I'd rather wonder, or remember, how it's like to fuck people. But I like rehashing escapades. H still visits me at night, so does V and X and O and K and sometimes I imagine F or A.

I love masturbating, it's one of the last things I do at night and often the first thing I do in the morning. It's exhilarating. At least when I do it myself I control it. I own it. That orgasm is mine. No one else to share it with. No one who has to come too. I don't have to worry about any other person just me. Selfish I know. But I really really love it.

And the masturbation doesn't stop when I'm in a regular sexual relationship. I think I masturbated more when I was seeing people regularly. When I was still sleeping with V, I'd enjoy reliving our experiences over and over and pushing them to new heights. Same with X and H and all the others.

Once, before I started sleeping with him, H told me he'd fantasize about me in the shower but he might objectify me, I told him to go ahead cos I was used to it. He thought I got offended. I didn't. I know full well men masturbate cos I do. I know they think about people who may not necessarily think of them the same way but I accept that, I do. If I pass by a hot guy and eye contact is established even briefly, he will make an appearance in my nighttime stroke session. I know guys do it too, so what's the fuss?

During a recent chat with O, he said that he wanted to fuck me but can't so he'd just masturbate thinking about me. I said that was fine. Because I have masturbated thinking about him. There's nothing wrong with that.

Masturbation is ultimately very very different from sex. Because it's all about fantasy, you being in yourself, loving yourself, even if you use someone else's face and body in your mind to fulfill it. God I love masturbation. And I pity all the girls who have never tried it.