Bitchicisms

Ok. So I made a mistake. I overestimated the hold I had on him. It has now been 1 week and 5 days since we last fucked. So in my mind, this means we're no longer seeing each other. And I have confirmation you've just been avoiding me.

I am actually surprised that this anti-climactic end has not affected me in greater ways. I mean I did like him. I think. I did want him. Definitely. Yet now, I seem to not care that he's away.

Maybe because MMG (my moral guardian, yes a man actually stands as my last defense) was insightful enough to recognize: you don't like him, you're just fascinated.

Yep, fascinated. With the thought, the wonder, the maybe of it all. The possibilities were better than the actual thing. The 'what if?' of something. Something that wouldn't even have lasted a year.

I know us that well baby. I know we don't fit long term. But I still hate it that you disengaged first. Jean Grey always does the leaving. Damn I should've jumped the gun.

But I wanted to see how far things could go. Though I did go all emo-batshit before over this motherfucker, seems that now I've regained my senses and seen the light. Thoughts turn again to my main goal. My main evil goal to be exact.

I always believed vengeance is one of the best motivators in the world. You end up being successful, gorgeous and insanely rich and envy ensues. Be everything all the others can't be.

I have a long list of people to look at when I reach the top. He just got added to the list. One evil goal: make ex-lovers and haters filled with regret.

The program starts now.