Bitchicisms

My friends and I used to play The Ideal Game. This game involves a whole lot of imagination and a culmination of daydreaming and fantasies. The realistic ones of course. I've never told anyone during an Ideal Game that my ideal me 5 years down the road would be 2 inches taller and European.

One thing that stuck to my head recently was my consistent answer to the Ideal Day 5 Years from Now If I Were In A Relationship. It had to be clearly delineated that my answer was for a day with an S.O. Since, ordinarily, an S.O. wasn't really part of my ideal.

And it freaked me out when I played the game recently. The last time I had played it I was 22 years old. Now I was turning 25. And still. Nowhere near ideal.

My ideal day was always clearly delineated in my mind. Living with my partner in some crowded city on top of some tower with my own pool. Yes this means I want a penthouse. With a big furry dog (golden retriever. By then I reckon I'd be sick and tired of small toy dogs. ). Waking up together. Having sex. Having breakfast. Going for a swim and walking the dog as he leaves for work. Writing at home. Submitting articles and sending revisions off to my publisher. Him coming back. Having dinner and Jack and cokes (future me still can't imagine liking wine). Going to a friends art exhibit. Talking with interesting people. Having intelligent conversations. Being mostly adored by the our smart, witty trendy friends whom we adore back. Going back home to have sex. Waking up the next day and doing it all over again.

Is it so difficult to find a hard working, attractive, attentive creative man? Of course the category includes someone who is attracted to a semi-neurotic, moody, bratty, bitchy, sexually addicted and nicotine famished woman.

Well... that's why it's called an ideal.