Bitchicisms

One of the things that suck about being a Bender-mocked meatbag is coming up with the really great lines after the moment has passed. This sucks doubly hard if you consider yourself a writer (case in point: me). You can come up with great lines on page, but not live. I always hated that about me. Until I realized that when I started being wittier live, I started being a bit duller on the page. But I still generally have this dilemma.

I was only recently able to say my killer lines in person. One was "Just because you fucked me, you think we're close?" said to Cc. He was sharing some inane thing and saying how he felt close to me. I just had to retaliate.

The other was said to a fucker who still keeps saying thank you (literally) for every fucking orgasm. I told him, "Thanks for coming, please come again." I tried to do it in the Apu-voice like Kumar does in Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle but I couldn't manage it post-sex (My voice was hoarse from all the fucking moaning and groaning).

The last was said recently. Ry is scared of me. He's apparently always been. So I included him in my text roulette. He replies without knowing who I was. When I said it was me, I stopped texting. Then I said, "Little Boy, do I scare you?" His reply seconds later was a roundabout "Nah".

With proper time management/scheduling and pacing, text roulette rocks as a fucking tool. Literally, a tool for fucking.