Bitchicisms

Did you ever get those friends who were stunningly curious about your sex life? As in overly curious? As in continuously asks you to repeat details no matter when, even when none of you are drunk and the sun is shining bright? Isn't it a little creepy? Especially when they declare they have plans for your ass or orgy cherry?

Well. I had a friend like that. He's still there, I just don't consider him my friend anymore. If it isn't obvious yet, well, he is very very dense.

I never got what it was with people asking about my sex or love life. I never asked about theirs, except to keep me abreast of issues I knew about. Like, if they were still broken up so I can introduce her to others...or if the rash had cleared...or the abortion was successful. Mostly because the visual image of friends having sex grossed and creeped me out.

It was a number of factors. They were my friends. And I loved them as siblings. When I watch people having sex I either get turned on or grossed out. Those are the only two choices. Naturally, when its people I know the tendency is to say eww.

Also, some of my friends have unattractive boyfriends and partners. Its just...no...If I have to imagine people having sex, I'd rather they be hot people having wild monkey sex. I know ugly people fuck too (or there wouldn't be so many of them) but please don't put the pictures in my head. I can't even close my eyes to shut it off, cos its being projected straight to my brain.

One dude liked to imagine I got turned on when he told me stories about him fucking girls. I don't really remember asking him to tell me about them, I just listened cos he was buying my drinks. He said one time, arrogantly and ignorantly "You're getting turned on, aren't you?" And all I could say was "No" with a grimace on my face. He didn't notice and just smiled smugly. That one likes to delude himself with very big illusions of grandeur.