Bitchicisms

What sucks about several people knowing you've slept with someone is the ill-conceived, often misunderstood and often misinterpreted notion that there is a territory.

This is funny because I somehow feel like some free floating happy island filled with perpetually stoned inhabitants when a smart ass Catholic contingent plunges a flag into my beautiful and rich soil to claim me in the name of some godforsaken pompous kingdom in the name of a god I neither know of or even believe in.

This concept of ownership is arcane, juvenile and obsolete for me. Mainly because I am not in any relationship and as of the present do not particularly want to be in any relationship and I do not equate fucking with purchasing or even leasing.

Someone was supposed to drink with Bv and I and a couple of other people today. A young boy who moves in the same circle I rotate in with Bv and Ry and others. This boy ended up not going. Bv theorized he must've felt weird about it cos Ry would know for certain that I had invited him and not Ry. Ry barely talks to me.

In fact Ry does not talk to me even when I am beside him. Even when I am already looking at him. As a matter of fact Ry sometimes does not speak to me when I speak to him. So I do not consider myself his territory at all. But since Bv is a man just like Ry and New Young Boy appear to be, I guess I have to buy his explanation.

Which sucks. Because I happen to like NYB (New Young Boy). I don't really feel the urge to fuck him yet. Maybe that will come in time. But. I do not like this one bit. It makes me want to buck whatever conventions they have in the group.

I AM NOT ANYONE'S TERRITORY.

Come over here and fuck me! Tie me up spank me make me come make me yours. Own me do me make me bleed. Fuck me. Now.

As I mentioned in another post, I've been feeling bad lately because I'm gaining weight.

I used to be a really fat girl and I've managed to keep most of the weight I lost a couple of years ago. Now my goal is to go lower the scale.

This is hard cos I have a mean sweet tooth and I've stopped jogging and have become very sedentary in my ways. One of my goals for the year is to turn my body into a weapon. And I fully intend to do that.

I don't want to be the fat girl I once was. Despite still getting laid and getting offers in my current state I'd rather be a weapon. Why? Because it's more fun that way. I want my body as a weapon. A lethal weapon.

Warning: This is an ego post.

In the midst of a low self-esteem weekend where I am worrying about the weight I've gained (which I will post about later), I recognize and realize my natural hotness.

That would sound incredibly egotistical if I didn't know it were true.

Sure I have both low and high self esteem at the same time. But I know I have an appealing face and though my body is becoming chubbier, it's always been full and curvy with a natural hourglass shape.

Ok so I am not model material but as I've been told begrudgingly by people, I have a personality that makes people look at me. It's what I call a natural attitude. It's this audacity and pomp that draws eyes. People automatically wonder who the fuck I think I am to act the way I do.

It doesn't always work of course. I do sometimes turn it off. But now more often than not it's on and I use it to my advantage. Probably because I've managed to keep most of the weight I lost off. Probably because I am accomplishing things. Or maybe it's all just in my head. Like everything else.

Not all people find me hot. But I'm getting on that right now.

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I last had sex a little over a month ago. And yes that last time was with Ry. Long periods of celibacy are no problem for me, and the groping and sucking morsels from O and Ry have been tiding me over.

Weirdly enough I am now so turned on that I cannot function enough to clean my room and would rather go to YouPorn. This is so unlike me. But hey I am masturbating already.

In the midst of a silly little spat (which actually turns out to be an eye opener for me), O asked me why I had a sex blog. He even mocked me. Asked if it was to solicit sex on the internet, for pride, ego or whatever.

I was stunned to even answer. That he would think I'd blog to get laid. I don't need to blog to get laid. All I needed to do was want it and I can get it.

Was this blog for ego? For pride? He alluded that I had made him and his friends my trophies. That's possible. Though they aren't great catches, it amuses me when I think: hey, I got to fool around with 3 guys who are friends. Still, if I were to really brag why not name names here?

But the real deal? Why I write here? Because it turns me on. And I have things to say. So I send out my little thoughts to the mass entanglements of the interwebs and see if people notice.

My friends who have read this enjoy it. Mostly because they are amused by the notoriety it lends them when they are mentioned, or the notoriety of having a friend who fucks and tells.

And it turns me on really. I like to write. And I like writing about what I know and who and what I do.

Hey.

Wake up.

Yes. I know.

Shh...don't be too loud, they're all asleep.

Here. Put your hands on me. There. There. Now curl those fingers. Yes.

Kiss me. Bite my neck. Yeah. Like that. I know. Can you feel that? Hmm... My pussy's wet and I'm grinding on top of you. Yes I can feel your hands on my ass. Shhh...we don't want them to wake up.

You're so hard. And wet. Uhm, and tasty too. I like sucking you.

Well, cos you're not too big or too small, you're just right. And cos you squeeze me when I suck your cock. Spank me.

I know. Your legs are tense and your balls are tight. Good, your cock's swelling. Pre-cum leaking. I'm licking it off you as fast as it drips.

Come in my mouth. Grip my hair with your hand as I swallow your jizz.

Dominate me. Punish me. Hold me hard. I can barely breathe but it feels fucking amazing. Bite your lips, don't moan out load, they might hear.

Rip away all pretenses of being tender or gentle. Fuck my mouth like the animal you are.

Yes. Just like that.