Bitchicisms

Even though I've been called a player, and I sometimes call myself a player, I have to confess, I have no idea what this game is about.

In my mind I thought the objective of the game was to fuck as many people as I could...and not just any person at that...people who were actually logged at "above average" in the hotness meter. But now it seems that its not just about that.

H once told me he wanted to play with me and not play me. Meaning he wanted to have fun but not to have fun at my expense. And it seems that this line is all blurred and shit.

I don't really think I play. I think it's just a rep I have.

If playing means fucking as many people as possible, then yeah, I do play that game. I have no great concern over these men and boys I sleep with. If they appeal to me, if I feel a connection, if I think they can satisfy me, I fuck them. If not. Mostly I stay away from them. The sooner I fuck them, the sooner they're off the hit list. Loitering is not allowed.

If playing means mind games and deception, I'm not that into it. Sure I have my styles, my tactics, my moves, but aside from the tricks leading to actual sex, they aren't that many. After the sex is over, who the fuck cares?

If playing means having a strategy, having a reason for every word said, every action done, then I don't play. I may imagine that everything I say and do serves an ulterior motive, but it doesn't really. I'm quite impulsive and have no real reason to make things appear otherwise.

I don't form strategies to get my way into people's pants. I'm a girl. And a hot one at that. The only thing on my mind is getting in getting off and getting out.

Ok fine yes I play mind games once in a while, but I never meant to hurt anyone...

But then is this post all a part of the game?

From now on I will no longer say I'm a player because I don't understand the game. There's no need to. I don't want to prolong any waiting period or juggle multiple relationships. I don't want to catch any fish that are swimming by. I just fuck. Not even that much come to think of it.

I'm not a player I just crush a lot. And I do just really love sex.