Bitchicisms

Way back in college, there was this one guy, A, who everyone wanted.

There aren't a lot of straight men around, so anyone who even looked like a real man got noticed by all the girls.

But A was different. He got noticed by everyone, girls, guys, even the homosexual professors. He was a force of testosterone in a college full of artsy men with predominantly limp wrists. At the height of his existence, everyone just wanted to fuck him. I guess it was his light brown milk chocolate color, his thick wavy hair, boyish good looks and his mystery. He was of average height, and his body was not super muscular or cut, but he had strength. And his trim, fit frame looked as sleek as a panther's.

He was silent. Smoking quietly while reading a huge-ass Ayn Rand novel. And he was in a band. And he was smart.

I'd tried flirting with him a couple of times in college. But me being the awkward fat kid (sometimes I still am. I remember all the jokes and half-veiled insults thrown my way by all the people I knew, especially those of the people who ended up being my friends [more on that in other posts]) who until 2 or 3 years ago had no regular interaction with boys, it came to nothing.

Until now.

I went with a couple of friends to this bar that the entire triumvirate (H, V, O) frequent. We were already kinda drunk. And I was dressed kinda conservatively. I also was not in the mood for any H.

Most interaction with H was when he greeted us at the door and I gave him a hug. Then when I sat down, my skirt rode up and he pulled it down (trying to make me modest?).

Then A walks in.

My heart stops.

We say our hellos and our how-are-yous. He goes to the bar and I remain seated at the couch with my friends. I spent the next 3 hours looking at A's back wondering if I should go over and talk to him.

Then he comes over.

I was otherwise occupied when suddenly he was there and I automatically scooted over so he could sit beside me. He brought his beer and he apologized for not coming over earlier. He spies a pop-psych quiz book with me and he asks me to quiz him.

We talk and joke, and his hands start touching me, testing the boundaries. A says, "You know, I really wanted to get to know you in college, but you had walls." And we proceeded to dismantle those walls then and there.

At this point DM was already asleep and her friend B offered to take her home so I wouldn't have to leave (considerate B is a prince, who noticed that I was going to score).

DM's stuff were in my car (yes I have car privileges now, and a driver, more on that later) so I told them we'd just get that and they can take a cab. A got his bill. I told him not to cos I was coming back we were just getting DM's stuff from my car. He insisted on going out with us, said he wanted some "air" (I've heard that before). Before we left I assured V I was coming back as we hadn't paid the bill yet. He just acknowledged that with a nod (V still hasn't really spoken to me since he got a gf).

So we all went outside. I went to the front seat. DM and B got her stuff from the backseat, and A stood nearby to wait patiently.

Then all of a sudden H was there.

H asked, "Are you leaving? Are you leaving?" Then not content with waiting for an answer, he turned to A and asked him, "Is she leaving?"

"I'm not leaving, I'm coming back inside," I say. Perplexed that we were playing this scene. I wondered whether he was scared that I was gonna leave without paying. Or whether he had anything important to say. But then, V knew I was coming back so...perplexed.

So H goes back inside and DM and B leave. Then I was alone with A. We were talking about something. I guess he said something like, "I really wanted company tonight, and I didn't expect it was gonna be you. But I'm happy it is." Then we kissed. It was sweet and brief. Soft lips and a little tongue. Lower stomachs tentatively seeking each other. After he breathed in my ear, "Take me home."

(Here comes the embarrassing part.) I told him I couldn't. Cos I had the car and the driver was a potential witness. So we went back inside.

My drink was waiting for me and we got to talking again. I asked him why he wanted to get to know me. "Something about the shape of your lips," A replied. Then we kissed.

Fortuitously my mother send me an SMS saying she needed the car and driver early the next day. So I sent the car home. A and I left shortly after that.

A and I were talking, and we were joking. Rehashing old times, discussing his angst, and both our walls. Then he entered a motel. And we got into our room. And I was pretending to calmly watch TV as he took off his shoes. Then he leaned over and kissed me again.

Do you know what fantasies taste like when they're fulfilled after 4 or 5 years? They taste like champagne. Sweet and bubbly and it tickles your tongue.

The sex was good, and he was sweet. At one point he just looked at my face, and watched me, his fingers caressing my cheeks.

And I've never heard someone scream "Oh God" so loud before.

His skin is chocolate. Not an ugly mark on it. His body still trim and fit. His face is pretty enough to be a girl's.

After, as we were waiting for the bill, I caught A looking at me with this smile on his face. And I asked him why. He said, "Is there anything wrong with smiling?"

Before we parted ways A said something to the effect of, "I wonder when I'm gonna see you again? I'm already looking forward to it."

I just smiled in reply.