Bitchicisms

I have made conscious efforts to detach myself from H since we did it Saturday. I have no idea if it's a good thing or a bad thing. I mean, he has been in constant contact with me. It's like our old, ball's in your court game. Monday he texted first, Tuesday I did, yesterday he YM'd me first. Now, Thursday. I refuse to be the first one to look for him. It's my ego.

It got me wondering whether he thinks I'm the one who's an asshole for distancing myself after the sex. Maybe he thinks that after the sex I've lost interest, when that's my fear in regards to him.

But he's had this very good history of picking up on the cues I give so I guess I am distancing myself really as self preservation. If he imagines he can just keep me on the side and wait until he's good and ready before he claims me, then that really isn't the case.

If he really just wants to be friends I'm also sorry cos I do have enough friends already.

I like him. I sincerely honestly do. But I'm not about to let myself be hung up on a man that does not want to be hung up on me. Oh yes we had fun. Oh yes we enjoyed sex. But I have no plans of being his FB, of entertaining bootie calls (ala V) or of being his buddy (ala O).

I also have no plans of being anywhere within a 5 mile radius when he debuts his new girlfriend. By then I plan to be very very far away.

Fuck liking someone, fuck emotions. I am on self-preservation mode.