Bitchicisms

There are certain things you do without thinking. If you're like me, then there are a lot of things you do without thinking, hoping against hope that initial instinct will prove right in the end...or not, and ride out the consequences.

There are very few regrets in my life. I've always enjoyed everything I've done. Including all the embarrassing ones. Such as the ones I'll list down here. These things aren't just embarrassing, they are things that literally shock me into disbelief whenever I remember that I was able to do all these goddamn things.

I was recently talking with an officemate R, a guy I never really got to be close close with. (Heck, possibly the only officemate I consider myself close to at this point is O. I'm not big on friendship. Hehehe.)

(Had to narrow the list to 10. This may be a 5 part post. All with 10 items each in the "I Can't Believe..." list.)

10)Had sex in public at White Beach, Galera with another couple about 3-4 feet away. Yes, has cliché written all over it. (Add to that the fact that the guy was a bartender I met there. It definitely was.)

9)Macked on friends. Rather, I let friends mack on me. At the same time. In the same bar. I mean, it just kinda felt evil...made me feel dirty...and very very very horny I must admit.

8)Let someone utter the words, "Want me to fuck your mom?" during sex. Ok. This seems like kind of a big deal. But since I have a personal policy to disregard everything that is said during, 15 minutes before and 15 minutes after the sex act (making the previously uttered "tang ina ang sarap mo" and "tang ina ang libog mo" and "did you miss me?" statements null and void too), makes some sense. In fairness to the guy, we did interact for quite a while and he was quite decent and never really did pursue my mom. But still. I could've just said, "Get the fuck off me" or "You seem to have a small penis".

7) Engaged in sex while my brother was sleeping in the same room. I refuse to use the excuse that I was drunk, because I wasn't. I was sleepy...and it was a threesome. I think I caused irreparable damage to my baby brother.

6) Made out with a manorexic guyliner-wearing dude in several public places. Ok. I really really liked him. But then I realized I made out with him at Starbucks, Brothers Burger, several cabs and 2 bars. The bars and the cab understandable. But a fast food restaurant?! And a coffee shop?! I must've really liked the fucker.

5) Let an FB take pictures of me in my underwear. Given he's apparently working on a cruise ship now. I guess sailor's have me to thank for their sweet wet dreams.

4) Puked during a first date. I know my alcohol tolerance is low. I know my pot tolerance is low. Damn. I still did it.

3) Fondled and let myself be fondled in a tiny office. No clothes were taken off, all touching was through denim or cotton. But still. We could've gotten caught. Fuck.

2) Gave someone a blowjob underneath the covers when 2 other people were sleeping in the next bed. Oh God.

1) Got a hand job while I was in training with at least 30 other people. Oh yeah, and with only a jacket to cover us. And people suspected. And the trainer actually told us to "behave". Yeah right.

Impulsive, brash J. Yep. Don't regret any of this. But when I remember these things, I get to thinking, wtf, do I even know myself anymore? Damn.