Bitchicisms

Oh yes this is the title of a Linkin Park song. But it doesn't matter. I just want to break the habit. What habit? Not the habit of sleeping around, or even the habit of engaging in casual sex.

The habit I want to break is the habit of inertia.

What is inertia? It is more commonly known as 1 of Newton's Laws of Motion.

1) An object in motion will remain in motion unless acted upon by a net force.
2) Force equals mass multiplied by acceleration.
3) To every action there is an equal and opposite reaction.

The first law of inertia states that...

....An object at rest will remain at rest unless acted upon by an external and unbalanced force. An object in motion will remain in motion unless acted upon by an external and unbalanced force.

I am that object. Set on a course of continuous boozing, partying, sleeping around and such, I am constantly craving the same things over and over again. In an attempt to break this habit, have a breather, go on a small hiatus, I stayed in this weekend. Literally. I am not going outside the house.

Sure I was struck by an insane craving for chocolate which I cured by having the maid buy Meiji BLACK, a rich dark chocolate bar which is pretty cheap. I am also trying to cut back on cigarettes since I can practically feel the tumors growing in my throat, larynx and lungs (or wherever).

I've become a veritable lecher. I crave the men I've had sex with, and even the men I haven't had sex with. Admittedly this is an escapist thing. But aside from the fact that sex fills me with exquisite pleasure and immense well being, it also passes the time and keeps my mind away from heavier and darker thoughts such as..

...money, the environment, local politics, upcoming elections, things I want to buy, family, familial relations, love, true love, soul mates, savings, my future, my plans, moving out, work, career, life goals...

I keep these thoughts at the back of my mind on a daily basis so whenever I need a breather I have sex, or masturbate.

There's nothing I love more than 3 simultaneous orgasms in the morning. Either from sex or manual stimulation. It just feels good. Amazing. Warm and wet and liquid.

My past partners are all busy with their lives. Working or studying for the finals or already on a cruise ship somewhere sailing hopefully to a better future. I bother them once in a while. Annoy them through SMS. Ask them out.

Yes I am one of those girls that have no problem asking guys out if I want to. As long as I already know them. I'm shy with strangers. I'm also shy when it comes to people I want to take seriously. When it comes to guys I just want to sleep with, I am bold, brash and brazen.

I need to break this cycle for several reasons:

1) My room is a mess, haven't been able to fix my things in a while.
2) I need to rest. My energy is depleted from constant partying and drinking and ingesting substances.
3) If I don't control myself, I'm gonna end up sick of this again pretty soon.
4) There's no one new to fuck.

There. Which is why I'm staying in, channeling my energies in other creative pursuits which will hopefully bend this nymphomaniac curve.