Bitchicisms

So yeah, I heard from a guy in a bar. The guy who said it was actually someone I was sleeping with. And yes, I have gotten texts from him before 10PM but that really didn't mean anything. Except that he was impatient and couldn't wait.

Is this true? I do have some people I send SMS (SMS-es?plural form anyone?) to after 10PM. Mostly, because I get bored with whoever I'm drinking with at the moment and I wanna bounce to someplace else (I am also trying to curb this, I think it's a horrible habit to get into).

And, in hindsight, most of the people I messaged were actual potential fucks. Some were old (literally) standbys, others were new untested dudes. Most of the messages were random "hey"s "you out?"s and "what cha doin?"s. The underlying meaning being "hey, maybe we can have sex?" There's a maybe there cos sometimes when I do really wanna have sex, I often just say "you wanna hook up". Most of the time I just say "Fuck me?"

Is that a fast and tested-rule though? Cos I have set up booty calls prior to 10PM. And I have had booty calls scheduled in the afternoon (they were exempt from being sex dates cos there was no requisite date part of movie/dinner/coffee).

I recently received an SMS from this one dude I made the mistake of sleeping with once. He keeps asking me where I am and what I'm doing at around 11 PM on a weekend. Come on! I'm either purposely at home or out having fun. If you wanna fuck just say so. Jeez, you're the one with the dangling balls. Be as obvious as them and ask. I'd probably still say no though.

I've always wanted to go into a girlie bar. It always perplexed me that with the number of guy friend I have I've never been to a proper girlie bar. I've never been to a gay bar either but that's different because I have seen several penises in my life already and I know what to expect.

Vaginas though. Well, that's something new. Several different vaginas are something.

I was the one who wanted to go to Air Force One, a high-end strip club, for my birthday. Yet that didn't push through cos it was so expensive. I told friends I wanted to go there because I wanted to see girls who would definitely be hotter than me (I was having a high self-esteem moment then).

Anyway, opportunity knocked when evil Bv attempted to cancel a thing the other night. It was because he and his guy friends wanted to go to a strip club and I had told him earlier in the night that I wasn't in the mood for one. Despite my craving for some hard core clubbing loving I made my way over to Quezon Avenue and entered a strip clob/girlir bar for the very first time.

I peered in the fishbowl, I was the only non-stripper/non-floor manager girl to use the ladies room and a bunch of mildly cute yuppie looking guys stared at me as we left in my SUV. It was hardly as fun as I expected it to be. Probably because it was a cheap club (though the cover charge cost me more than a night at Prince of Jaipur though less than a night at Embassy/Alchemy) and the girls all looked...well...cheap.

Nobody used the freakin pole while I was there and there was this weird dance number with guys and girls and a lot of Dirty Old Men and their drivers. Well, we left pretty early. It was an experience. Didn't get turned on that much though. Though the last dancer was kind of good.

Some of the girls seemed to enjoy it in a sad drugged up kind of way, some seemed used to it and resigned to it, some just didn't care. It was a meat market with a definite price. Unlike the hunting grounds of clubs and bars, there's no bargaining here, everything's at a fixed price.

I'll try to keep the list as short and simple as I can.

1. Shop for the perfect gynecologist.
2. Always bring condoms.
   
3. Maintain high self esteem.
4. Turn my body into a weapon. (firm, tone, and all those adjectives which mean an efficient sex engine)
5. Acquire a positive outlook on life. Be optimistic.
6. Get rich or die tryin'. (thanks fiddy for this one)
7. Work on leaving. (this country, this state of affairs)
8. Start writing for real. (meaning fiction. like I used to.)
   

I'll check this Jan. 2, 2009.

Oh yes, I am a brat.

I want what I want when I want it.

But as I've been explaining to people, I'm only bratty to the people who spoil me. And yes, there are people who spoil me, and there are people who let me be bratty.

H started calling me Bratatouille. And yes, I like the word. Rolls of my tongue see?

But brattiness comes with great expenses. :)) Yes spoiled myself too much am now about 15k short.

I'm not yet impoverished, just need to stop spending. Damn. This is hard.

Still tired and sore from my Friday escapade. Damn.

There's just something innately satisying about having good sex. It's better than getting shitfaced drunk, better than being happy on doobie, better than eating a couple of thousand calories worth of sinfully rich chocolate cake. It's just satisfying in a deep emotional and physical way.

It's difficult to explain to people who have never been fucked properly. Sad little boys and girls who have not yet learned to shed the socio-political and cultural stains on sex. Or girls and boys who just have no game.

A couple of years back, when my friend A was still in the country, we discussed our plans for the future. Then I was still working as a CSR, and I had become despondent about the future of my dreams.

I had jokingly mentioned an old fantasy of being a whore, an escort, someone who got paid to have sex. A innocently asked, why not?

A concern was, that I wanted to be able to choose my customers. I wasn't willing to sleep with every old bastard for the money. The thing is, hot guys almost never pay for sex.

Another problem, as related to O last Friday, was that men think they can do anything if they pay for it. I mean, even now, when I am not getting paid (doing it for the love in other words), some men still think they can do whatever they want. Sometimes with good, often with bad results.

So yeah, make me your whore, your dirty slut. But you have to follow the rules. Like N found out the hard way, being nasty won't get you any repeats.

I hate losing things. Especially money.

Oh God. I hate it. Almost as much as I hate the fact that being the new kid in the office, eyes are sometimes on me. As much as the fact that being the new kid, and one of only 2 twenty-something girls, my outfit always gets noticed. Oh well, I don't hate that really.

I like the attention sure. Don't always like the fact that the boss' family hangs out at the office for no particular reason. Don't particularly like seeing otherwide normal people fall all over themselves to please these folks, some kids my age.

I like working at my new job, it's my first foray into the line I really want to be in, Creatives. I'm not gonna lie and say I'll stay here forever. I will move up in about a year or two. Have no plans of lingering in this place forever. It jsut saddens me that people are old and still here. That they have no other dreams than this one.

Sometimes I cringe when people use wrong grammar, or mispronounce things, or ask me to do things that aren't really in my job description. But hey, most of the day I don't do anything so what the hell. I do it still. I may not do it perfectly but I still do it.

Having cool people to hang out with is fun too. Makes me wonder how long it'll take me before I hate it here. Cos right now I'm still loving it. Despite the lousy salary. I don't look at job openings any more. I just ignore them. Who knows.

Ended the year 2006 on uncertain territory. It was, to say the least, an ambiguous end. Had a job, had new friends, lost weight, still wanted more.

Now seems a bit too late to state the 2007 project, but it still needs to be said.

1) Tone up and go down to 125 lbs. - have to exercise and curb the excessive eating
2) Get into the career/industry I love -- this I started to fulfill Feb. 19, 2007. Have to explore it.
3) Let go of excess baggage. -- meaning: a) my ex, b) virgin guy I tried to divirginize and c) 19 y/o I tried to screw.
4) Become financially free. -- entails: getting all my money from my momma
5) Have work-life balance. -- vacations, shopping and the like

Seems easy enough I'm sure. We'll see how it goes.