Friday, February 29, 2008

Hickies

They're called kiss marks or hickies or love bites. And they are caused by tiny broken capillaries that turn red underneath the skin when someone sucks too hard. They can be removed by using a round object (such as a tube of lipstick) to press and massage the area in a circular movement so that blood can flow once again. They can be covered by concealer, though the green tinged concealer is better as green negates red.

But why do people like hickies so much? I personally have no problems with sporting hickies, as long as my mom won't see them and they are not too obvious.

Hickies are like little souvenirs of a fun night. I like how they're made and I like how it feels when they're being made. The sucking, the nibbling, the biting... It makes me moan all the more harder than I actually do.

My problem is that I bruise easily, and as a consequence, the most moderately passionate bite can leave a mark that lasts for no less than 3 days. This would be fine if the area were on my breasts or décolletage or on my collar bone, but having red marks that were obviously made by another mouth so high on my neck makes me anxious.

Despite all the evidence to the contrary my mother would still like to believe that I am a prim and proper girl (though she sometimes acts as an alarmist by wondering if I am the biggest slut this side of Q.C.). And as I do not want to answer any questions about my sex life and who I've been doing it with and why I was doing it for fun (still a bit conservative my mom, what can I say?), I try to hide the evidence as much as I can and that includes hickies.

I once told H that if my mom saw a hickey on me and inevitably ask "What's that?" I would immediately start scratching the offending mark and pretend it was a mosquito bite. On more obvious marks I would then rely on turtlenecks and cover ups to hide it.

Once my mom and her boyfriend picked me up from a trip to Puerto Galera where I had hooked up with a bartender (yes that fetish was alive even 3 years ago). In the clear bright light of day, my brand new hickies were spotted and yes, I pretended they were mosquito bites and showed as corroborating evidence the other insect bites on my legs and arms.

Do I believe I am fooling anyone? No. Does my mom really believe me when I tell her I was bit by mosquitoes on the neck, the exact same spot where she also always sports similar marks? No. She doesn't. She pretends she does, and she thinks she does but deep in her heart of hearts she knows her daughter is kind of a slut/playgirl/bitch and is silently still thankful that she has not yet gotten pregnant or sick. Then why do I keep hiding my hickies? I don't want to flaunt reality in her face, it may only lead to exile, tighter security and more questions.

See, despite my mother's backward and semi-conservative thinking, I love her and would spare her all the details and grief over my sex life. I try to be discreet though I know she knows, or rather, she thinks she knows, what's going on.

I am also kind sometimes.

Thursday, February 28, 2008

This is such a club song. You know, for those times when you're dancing and you know you look fucking hot and people are watching you gyrate and dance. Perfect. Put that in your pipe and smoke it.

I see you walking in the club,
Making moves, gettin' love
You know you're sexy
Yeah you flaunt it

Walkin' through the disco noise
Kissing girls, kissing boys
It's all the same
But I don't care

You're making love to the music
I'm your DJ, make you lose it
Coz you love me
Yeah, you love me

I'll make the bass line nice and neat
For all you freaks on disco treats
Just shake that ass
(Just shake that ass, shake that ass)

Get on it
Get on it, Just flaunt it

Percussion hits your ears
Smell the sex in the air
This shit is crazy
Yeah, it crazy

You know you want it to come in soon
I feel the heat in room
Let's all get liftin'
Get liftin'

You're making love to the music
I'm your DJ, make you lose it
Coz you love me
I know you love me

I'll make the bass line nice and neat
For all you freaks on disco treats
Just shake that ass
(Just shake that ass)
(Flaunt it baby)

Yeah, get on it
Yeah
Yeah, get on it
Just shake what you're momma gave you
Get on it


Go on and it flaunt it, ha
What your momma gave you, ha
Let my bass line rearrange you, ha
This track's designed to make you cream

Go on and it flaunt it, ha
What your momma gave you, ha
Nobody ain't-a gonna tame you, ha
Gonna make you dance till you bleed

Go on and it flaunt it, ha
What your momma gave you, ha
Let my bass line rearrange you, ha
This track's designed to make you cream

Go on and it flaunt it, ha
What your momma gave you, ha
Nobody ain't-a gonna tame you, ha
Gonna make you dance till you bleed

Go on and flaunt it baby
Get on it, just flaunt it
Get on it, yeah and flaunt it

Ladies and Gentlemen, Boys and Girls
This is my floor, you're just dancing on it
So from the front to the back i want to see where you at

I want you to shake what your momma gave you
Unashamed, Untamed
That's right

[chorus]

Tuesday, February 26, 2008

Y Tu Mama Tambien



I've often had those little moments when real life events hold a meaning that is lodged in a film or movie I have seen. Particularly fond are those memories that cross reference with the movie Y Tu Mama Tambien.

Roughly translated Y Tu Mama Tambien means "And I fucked your mother too". It is the story of two young men who go on a road trip with an older woman the summer before their first college term starts. It ends up as a game of seduction when one boy gets to fuck the woman, then the other then the jealousy ensues when the boys learn that they have been fucking each other's girlfriends behind their backs. The boys then learn to bond over these sexual entanglements and rescue their close bond by toasting over their joint and mutual cuckolding. This all comes to a crashing halt and end in a disastrous menage a troi where they discover an attraction to one another (or some men would argue they were just too drunk on tequila to care anymore).

I remember way back when I was still hanging out with my fictitious (though a very real person) son Lc and his then straight friend Br (whom we later found out was gay [though he has been bothering me a lot recently]). Admittedly I found Lc a definitely charming and cute young boy who may turn me on if the occasion sees fit, and I was then still tasked to eliminate Br's long expired virginity (something which I believe an older gentleman of the local theater world took care of eventually). They asked me to go to Galera and thoughts of Y Tu Mama danced through my mind.

Now it comes again. Two younger boys. Both of whom are friends. And while one is more bold and definitely brazen, the other is meek, shy and is trying to be discrete. Will a threesome ensue? Will I finally get my dream of 2 guys 1 girl? Can I teach them how to properly fuck til the sun comes up?

Stay tuned.

Sunday, February 24, 2008

One of the reasons I like hanging out with guys is because I learn things other girls don't normally learn. Like this tidbit I picked up recently from the evil Bv.

We were hanging out and drinking with a bunch of boys when one of the kids said that he was so loyal to his girlfriend that he can't even get his dick up when he has the opportunity to sleep with another girl.

That was when the evil Bv, the malevolent ring master of this little testosterone-filled boy overrun world I live in right now, pulled his chair closer to the confiding boy and imparted some of the most annoying (yet apparently effective) missives regarding cheating.

First, the evil Bv said (in a very low voice as we all knew he was scared as hell of being figured out by his ghost girlfriend) that there was a difference between being loyal and being faithful. A loyal man strays, but always comes back, like a dog. For him, it's just going around and sampling all the other offers but always returning to home. And yes, exactly like a dog.

However, being faithful on the other hand, means never cheating, never straying and never having any extra curricular relationships or activities.

Then, Bv imparted the wittle boy and the rest of the enthralled audience (including the amusing morsel I had by my side who has a girlfriend after all), with how to overcome the erectile dysfunction syndrome of first time cheaters.

There would always be that guilt involved when you do it the first time (or so Bv explains) which will cause the penis to resist the final act. So to overcome that, the mastermind Bv recommends....a blow job.

He even goes so far as to advise wittle boy to pleasure the girl first, kiss her and go down on her and make her come, then gently position her mouth on his cock to ask for a blow job so he can get hard and screw.

Wittle boy responded by saying that even his tongue seems to lose its adroitness when in that situation as he can't even French kiss properly.

To this Bv gives more sage advice, " Don't try. Don't even use you tongue. Go for the neck then the tits then kiss her there. Then that's when you go down on her and after she comes you maneuver her like this." Yes Bv goes so far as to demonstrate how to hold the girl until she's ready to give a blow job.

Bv is a very dear friend. And the only thing keeping me from dismissing this entire thing as anti-female hogwash was my drunkenness and the thought that girls can use this too. But seriously, if you really wanted to cheat then maybe your body parts would cooperate?

I gave a thought to serious cheaters and they didn't seem to have any problems, and I can totally respect and relate to wittle boy and his uncooperative penis. One thing that I forgot to ask was if wittle boy even liked the girl who he could've fucked if his penis had only cooperated.

Saturday, February 23, 2008

There were other people downstairs. Still drinking. It was already 6 A.M. and the party was still going on. People were drunk and high and happy. I was particularly drunk though, and not the happy kind of drunk. My drunken state was the Gran Matador induced-I-think-I-might-throw-up-so-I'll-pee-once-every-30-minutes kind of drunk.

He was in bed. I had already announced my departure and had only returned when I was mocked by someone that my failure to score was my karma for scoring with someone else in the same circle the other week.

I lay down beside him and asked Ry to turn off the light. He stood and did as asked and lay back beside me. I caressed him a little eventhough he was on his side and facing away from me.

I turned away from him and faced the wall. He turned to me and hugged me, whispering, "I'll hug you ok?" I sighed and rubbed my ass against his crotch. His hand crawled up from my stomach to my breast. He kept asking "What's this? What's this?" as his hand lingered on my stomach, the wire of my bra and cupped my entire breast until his fingers pressed softly against my nipple.

After a sharp intake of breath, I turned and reached for his cock. His hand snaked to my pussy and slipped under my shorts and underwear. He remarked "You shaved. Damn." (which was a really interesting comment to make as we had already had sex once and he had already given me a hand job two other times) Ry started playing with my cunt as my breathing got heavy and moans came uncontrollably out of my mouth.

"Do you really want to," he asked. Being drunk I just looked at him with a puzzled expression on my face as my hips rose frantically to meet the fingers furiously plunging into me. He started pulling off my shorts and underwear as he he murmured "Hurry up."

I clumsily got out of my undergarments as he freed his cock. We were still spooning and he lifted my right leg as he spread my pussy and plunged inside me. "You have to be quiet," he whispered and I snuck a glance at the drunken dude sleeping inside the room, completely unaware and ignorant.

Thoughts around 7 A.M. today:

1) If Ry was a virgin when I first met him and I took his cherry, he sure learned an awful lot in less than 2 months.

2) Gran Matador brandy is the devil's tool...and not in a good way.

3) I'm starting to get bored with fucking boys.

4) New boy pothead is amusing yet... well... always totally fuckin' blazed when we talk. Which gets kind of boring. Since we're also not having sex.

5) Bumming is not for me anymore. I tend to get bored very very easily.

6) Barring desperate times and desperate measures, I will no longer sleep with Ry or any of the boys.

Thursday, February 21, 2008

Fantasy

What is it with me and characters of fiction?

I just realized as I was looking at pictures of dogs that I had recently stopped naming pets for ex lovers. Then I hyperlinked to the memory that my first love was a total X-Men freak and that he liked Gambit and I liked Rogue and one of the last things he told me was that Gambit and Rogue rock.

Fast forward 7 years later and I went out with a cos playing dude with a penchant for...well...hijackers of the sea (yes I am a wuss, if I type the actual character this might come out when it's googled and my anonymity would be shot. so sue me).

What is it with me and these older dudes who enjoy make believe fantasy shit?

Am I an escapist who is also searching for an escapist? Or do I encourage the inner kid of older men? Is it because I have a mommy syndrome?

Aw fuck it.

Another gem from The L Word. After Phyllis' had her first lesbian experience with Alice, she started seeing the female students of her school in a different light. The song is a light and frothy classic and somehow perfect for the drive to your favorite hunting ground.

The boys watch the girls while the girls watch the boys who watch the girls go by
Eye to eye
They solemnly convene to make the scene
Which is the name of the game
Watch the guy watch the dame

On any street in town
Up and down
And over and across
Romance is boss

Guy’s talk
Girl talk
It happens everywhere
Eyes watch
Girls walk
With tender loving care

It’s keeping track of the pack
Watching them watching back
That makes the world go round
What’s that sound?
Each time you hear a loud collective sigh
They're making music to watch girls by

Guy’s talk
Girl talk
It happens everywhere
Eyes watch
Girls walk
With tender loving care

It’s keeping track of the pack
Watching them watching back
That makes the world go round
What’s that sound?
Each time you hear a loud collective sigh
They're making music to watch girls by

The boys watch the girls while the girls watch the boys who watch the girls go by
Eye to eye
They solemnly convene to make the scene

La la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la
La la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la

The Flirting Way

A girl friend of mine recently said that she didn't know how to flirt and that she wanted to know how. I tried to remember all the times we ever hung out with guys and yes... she doesn't categorically flirt. It's just part of her personality. However she is playful and friendly and it doesn't really seem to matter.

She does not need hair flips or the facial expressions I make when I prowl to appear like she wants a man. Men just drink her in because she is so pleasant and has such a glowing angel-like personality.

It's weird.

To flirt for me is playing. It's using your mind to entice and entrap another mind. Which is hard because it is usually the mind's nature to think. And the object of the flirting game is to get the other mind to think what you want it to think.

When I flirt I want the other mind in the game to think I am interesting, witty, funny, charming, a lil innocent, a lil spitfire and a whole lotta woman. Sometimes it works sometimes it doesn't. The purely physical flirting is a bit juvenile and can be boring or tedious yet can sometimes be exciting when done with the right person (either someone who's also totally aware that this is a game and that you will eventually end up in bed or a young naive boy who has no clue he already has the prey in his mouth).

The best kind of flirting is the verbal and physical kind. Soft husky whispering voices and covert touches. Experienced players use this often.

There are also natural born flirts. I guess I am one of them. Sometimes it's difficult to turn it off and often guys misinterpret. It doesn't help that I'm touchy. A favorite move is to lightly scratch my long nails down someone's arm like a cat sharpening it's claws playfully.

It often does not mean anything. Well, maybe it often does.

However flirting almost always only works if both parties want it. If they even have a little wondering feeling what the other person looks like naked or how the other person looks when s/he has an orgasm. Or what that glorious skin feels like.

Flirting is a part of curiosity. You want to know how far you can go before it becomes obscene. Then it turns into sex. Verbal sex. Like fuck me with words. Which isn't really at par with fucking with finger. tongue or dick.

Hanging out with so many young boys you start picking up things. Like style and vocabulary and insight. And you get to see them in action. Which is always interesting and mildly funny.

Step 1: The offhand casual compliment.

Something along the lines of a simple and sudden "you look cute today."

Step 2: Wanting to hang out.

"You're such a kill joy, don't go home yet."

Step 3: The touching game.

Try to touch the girl as much as you can with the most innocent excuse you can manage.

Step 4: Reeling in the bait.

Start touching the girl in a seemingly innocent place in a not so innocent way.

Step 5: The blatant feel.

Linger near her and grab her close so you can smell her hair.

Step 6: Uncertainty.

Look into her eyes then look at her lips. Repeat until either tired or girl gives in.

Step 7: FATALITY

Boys are funny.

Was in the car, silent, on my way home from the spa. My mind floating.

An old memory suddenly reached out to grab a hold of me.

My gym instructor ex. The buff yet short Vin Diesel look alike. And in this memory he told me that he liked fat girls. This was when he was still courting me.

I told him I wasn't fat.

This is also the same guy who, after we split up (after an eventful 30 days), told me he loved me like a sex doll.

Have I come far from that or is this just a vicious cycle?

Monday, February 18, 2008

Faith


I cast my mind back to about 2 months ago when evil Bv sent me an SMS after he knew I spent the night with Ry asking "Did you score?"

I was incredulous and the only reply I could come up with at 11 AM was, "What do you think of me? Of course."

Dunno why but that incident just suddenly popped into my mind.


A website called InSpot offers people a way of anonymously telling people they've slept with that they have an STD...via ecards.

Thank God I'm always clean.

thanks to: pop on the pop

Saturday, February 16, 2008

I posted my 2008 New Year's Resolutions way back in January 3. And so far. Very little progress has been made.

1. The perfect gynecologist is within reach because of Bv's recommended doctor yet we have not been able to make time for personal stuff because his boys are slacking.
2. I always bring condoms now yet I have not had full-on genital to genital sex in almost 2 months which is really not as bad as it sounds.
3. Self esteem probably at an all time low.
4. My body is not a weapon rather a chunk of metal waiting to be turned into a full-on tank.
5. Yes. Optimism. And also hedonism. Mixed with a bit of narcissism and alcoholism.
6. Will be moving with the tides in a couple of days but on the downside have been spending like crazy.
7. Yup leaving.
8. Have not been writing anything other than this blog for the past months.

Now obviously I am a very slow and undisciplined girl who lacks focus. Will work on that also.

Translate

Is it just my dirty mind or do boys mean something else whenever they invite a single girl they sort of fancy to drink or jam one on one? My inner catholic all girls school persona is telling me this means he wants it in a 50 cent/justin timberlake/timbaland kinda way while my grown up mature UP persona wants to just take it at face value.

We'll know eventually when that one on one happens I guess.

Unsexed

Feeling particularly, well, unsexed recently.

For one I have been in self-imposed hiatus for quite some time, being particularly too lazy to do anything other than let Ry do whatever sexual thing he wants to do when he wishes and when opportunity arises.

I haven't been particularly interested in any of the morsels that have been dangled in front of me, only engaging in a relatively mild and not saucy hour long flirting conversation with a friend of Bv's.

There also have been no recent erotic adventures with O after a spectacularly riveting fight which left me feeling raw and detached from the motherfucker.

It's weird how the fire that was stoked steadily for so long by the steady and semi regular rotation of H, V and O has now gone down to embers.

I haven't been blogging so much because life is currently a boring cycle of drinks, hanging out and meeting new people. There haven't been any real instantaneous attractions to speak off. And yes I am gaining weight.

I have also become slightly addicted to Dope Wars after motherfucking Bv assumed I was doing things wrong when i wasn't even playing that much until recently. It sucks to be surrounded by gamer boys who don't even know how to really play.

I was going to type that missed having my pussy eaten out, but then i realized, not really. It's the cycle of life. But I will keep entertaining any readers with all the sweet, tender and juicy sexual morsels of everyday life. And there still are a lot.

Thursday, February 14, 2008

I discovered this song from the L Word. It was the song that Ivan sang to Kit when Ivan was trying to court her. She was trying to convince Kit that she could be a lesbian and that the perfect "man" was in fact a transgendered woman. It's just the perfect song for some sweet slow loving, though it makes promises most men can't live up to. Leonard Cohen's voice is amazing as well. Bubble was too bubblegum with his version.

If you want a lover
Ill do anything you ask me to
And if you want another kind of love
Ill wear a mask for you
If you want a partner
Take my hand
Or if you want to strike me down in anger
Here I stand
Im your man

If you want a boxer
I will step into the ring for you
And if you want a doctor
Ill examine every inch of you
If you want a driver
Climb inside
Or if you want to take me for a ride
You know you can
Im your man

Ah, the moons too bright
The chains too tight
The beast wont go to sleep
Ive been running through these promises to you
That I made and I could not keep
Ah but a man never got a woman back
Not by begging on his knees
Or Id crawl to you baby
And Id fall at your feet
And Id howl at your beauty
Like a dog in heat
And Id claw at your heart
And Id tear at your sheet
Id say please, please
Im your man

And if youve got to sleep
A moment on the road
I will steer for you
And if you want to work the street alone
Ill disappear for you
If you want a father for your child
Or only want to walk with me a while
Across the sand
Im your man

If you want a lover
Ill do anything you ask me to
And if you want another kind of love
Ill wear a mask for you

Wednesday, February 13, 2008

It's funny whenever guy friends tell me when I mention that I, or any girl, is feeling particularly low or angry or upset that the girl just needs to get laid. Evil Bv once even said that women need to have sex regularly. I corrected, "Not sex. Orgasms." Then I proceeded to sing, "I have two hands, the left and the right..."

I guess it's different for guys. Especially those with an excess in alcohol and testosterone. Some random dude recently told me that he got into a fight cos he was so pissed and he wanted to fuck. Which was insane for me. Because honestly, What's more stupid than getting into a fight for no reason? Well, getting into a fight for stupid reasons.

This random dude also ended up treating me like shit the day after the fight. And it just perplexes me the kinds of stupid things guys do when they're drunk or horny or whatever. The stupidest thing I've done when under the influence of my libido was to...well...persuade my friends to chase after some random bikers from north to south of the greater metro manila area. Okay, well that may have been really stupid, but I was young at that time, a mere 19 years old.

Sunday, February 10, 2008

Strip Bar

I've always wanted to go into a girlie bar. It always perplexed me that with the number of guy friend I have I've never been to a proper girlie bar. I've never been to a gay bar either but that's different because I have seen several penises in my life already and I know what to expect.

Vaginas though. Well, that's something new. Several different vaginas are something.

I was the one who wanted to go to Air Force One, a high-end strip club, for my birthday. Yet that didn't push through cos it was so expensive. I told friends I wanted to go there because I wanted to see girls who would definitely be hotter than me (I was having a high self-esteem moment then).

Anyway, opportunity knocked when evil Bv attempted to cancel a thing the other night. It was because he and his guy friends wanted to go to a strip club and I had told him earlier in the night that I wasn't in the mood for one. Despite my craving for some hard core clubbing loving I made my way over to Quezon Avenue and entered a strip clob/girlir bar for the very first time.

I peered in the fishbowl, I was the only non-stripper/non-floor manager girl to use the ladies room and a bunch of mildly cute yuppie looking guys stared at me as we left in my SUV. It was hardly as fun as I expected it to be. Probably because it was a cheap club (though the cover charge cost me more than a night at Prince of Jaipur though less than a night at Embassy/Alchemy) and the girls all looked...well...cheap.

Nobody used the freakin pole while I was there and there was this weird dance number with guys and girls and a lot of Dirty Old Men and their drivers. Well, we left pretty early. It was an experience. Didn't get turned on that much though. Though the last dancer was kind of good.

Some of the girls seemed to enjoy it in a sad drugged up kind of way, some seemed used to it and resigned to it, some just didn't care. It was a meat market with a definite price. Unlike the hunting grounds of clubs and bars, there's no bargaining here, everything's at a fixed price.

Saturday, February 9, 2008

Why Fuck?

I will not state the obvious answer to this question (that sex is amazing when it's done right, duh?!), rather I will address the questions recently asked by several friends.

Why Ry? Why O? And for that matter why H?

Well, H seems pretty obvious. He got me with his wit, his charm and the fact he has a huge penis and is good in bed. He was unique looking and lanky as a Taltos. Despite his scrawniness and his weird Skeletor like appearance.

O? Because he is manly. I like broad shoulders and a substantial nose. And because he is quite rough. And I like being manhandled. And he can be charming if need be. He is a very sexual being and that appealed to me.

Ry? Because he also appears manly and also has broad shoulders and a substantial nose and he is also rough. Also because he looked so unsure and uncertain and...well...I wanted to teach him.

Each sexual partner appeals to me for several reasons and all these reasons are embedded in the way the human mind decodes visual cues. These cues I interpret according to the preconceived notions I have about these symbols. This leads to attraction, annoyance and disgust. It just so happens that in the case of these 3 dudes who people are perplexed by, their visual code, the way they look and act, trigger arousal in me.

Any more questions?

I first became aware of the artist Peaches while randomly downloading shit by downloading Operate by Peaches as part of the Mean Girls soundtrack. I was still speed waling/jogging/running then and the song was used regularly to fuel my drive. Then I saw the Peaches performance in the L Word. So I started downloading songs and one favorite after The Teaches of Peaches is this song...It's just so me on sooo many levels.

Kick it by Peaches feat. Iggy Pop

How do you do a cool dance?
Baby don't split those high pants
I gots these rules that we can do - do and sink
I don't look too good in pink.

I used to slash myself up
I like to play it tough
Cuts, bruises, blood and there's bottles breaking rough
You gotta handle that stuff.

Yeah, yeah!
Tear it up,
Rip it up
Kick it up
Yeah, yeah!
Tear it up,
Rip it up
Kick it up
Yeah, yeah!
Kick it, kick it, kick it!

I wanna be your cat
...Screw that!
I'm not sixteen but I gots leather boots and suede
Ah go fuck your pain away!

I heard you like kinky shit
That just depends who I'm with
What is it? Acid, limo or some kind of toy?
Like you said 'Search and Destroy'

Some people don't like my crotch
Because it's got fuzzy spots
But if you flame it
It's a neat burning bush baby
And that is just what I've got

Yeah, yeah!
Tear it up,
Rip it up
Kick it up
Yeah, yeah!
Tear it up,
Rip it up
Kick it up
Yeah, yeah!
Tear it up,
Rip it up
Kick it up
Yeah, yeah!
Kick it, kick it, kick it

And if you're leaving with sin
Escape the city I'm in
Come on and knock it where it's rocking non-stop
Make your way to Berlin

Thursday, February 7, 2008

Cabbed It

We were desperate for a place to "make out" as you called it.

We came from a drinking session with some friends and you (inexplicably) asked me to go with you somewhere eventhough I was already very near my home. I agreed. We hitched with a friend's cab and we went to get something for you.

Once we got to the place you started looking for a place to get nasty in. The restroom at the basement parking lot of the building was a no no. The upper floor of the commercial complex was too open. You eyed a used cars parking lot as we slowly walked. A motel room would cost too much for 1 blow job. I kept my mouth silent as I pressed my hard nipples against your back.

You reached behind you and pressed me harder against you, one hand reaching down to cup my mound through my jeans. I slipped my hands under your jeans to squeeze your butt.

Finally you flag a cab and we get in. We pretended I was drunk hoping the driver wouldn't notice. You pretended to let me sleep on your lap. When you pushed me down to your lap, your cockhead was already out. I still had some mints in my mouth and I rubbed it against your cockhead. I knew my breath felt cool and warm at the same time. I tried sucking your head as much as I could. You squeezed my shoulders hard as you came.

You came instantly. I swallowed as much cum as I could. It wasn't until I came up for air that I realized you squirted your cum all over the right shoulder of my shirt. I wiped it off with tissue and sprayed it with cologne.

Wednesday, February 6, 2008

Perfect song for dressing up and getting ready before a gimik night. Psyching yourself up for a fruitful night. Total ego booster. Props to C for telling me about Bloc Party.

Lord give me grace and dancing feet
And the power to impress
Lord give me grace and dancing feet
Let me outshine them all

Is it so wrong to crave recognition?
Second best, runner-up
Is it so wrong to want rewarding?
To want more than is given to you?
Than is given to you

Tonight make me unstoppable
And I will charm, I will slice
I will dazzle them with my wit
Tonight make me unstoppable
And I will charm, I will slice
I will dazzle, I will outshine them all

Standing on the packed dance floor
Our bodies fro in time
Silent on the weekdays
Tonight I claim what's mine

Is it so wrong to crave recognition?
Second best, runner-up
Is it so wrong to want rewarding?
To want more than is given to you?
Than is given to you

Tonight make me unstoppable
And I will charm, I will slice
I will dazzle them with my wit
Tonight make me unstoppable
And I will charm, I will slice
I will dazzle, I will outshine them all

Tonight make me unstoppable
And I will charm, I will slice
I will dazzle them with my wit
Tonight make me unstoppable
And I will charm, I will slice
I will dazzle, I will outshine them all

Hater

Hating on 2 people:

1) O. For some stupid insane thing he did which culminates a series of stupid insane and offensive things he has been doing to me these past few days. He will never touch me ever fucking again. That maniacal inconsiderate insecure fucked up asshole.

2) Ry. I hung out last night with the boys in a vain attempt to get Bv to drink since we haven't seen each other in ages. However, despite the fact that I was being nice to all the boys, Ry stuck out like a sore asshole because he was pretty much snobbish and mean to me the entire night. Except when he wanted to ask for cigarettes that is. And I am beginning totally hate him. We're fine when he's drunk and groping me, but when push comes to shove he's just another stupid motherfucking boy.

There's something in common with both boys. They both...

1) ...at one time or another, cheated on their respective significant others with me.
2) ...hit on me the first time they ever saw me.
3) ...have had problems dealing with the acts after.

And I hate them why? Because they are just so fucked up and I don't understand why they have to be passive-aggressively mean and I will no longer stand for it. These motherfuckers will not be able to fuck me or ask for any sexual favors from me, unless a major change comes.

As for O, I think it's too late. I've tried my damndest best to be his friend but he has proven time and again that he thinks I'm basically a piece of crap.

Office Suck?

We were talking about business O and I, we were serious and unambiguous. I was still wasted from having slept late. He was not. I told him we could talk another time. He said sure. I went to the rest room. He went to the restroom too.

After I peed I went back outside and saw him waiting for me. He grabbed me and dragged me to the men's room. He grabbed my tits, grinding his crotch against my ass. He was already so damn hard.

He pulled the neckline of my shirt down. He popped my right breast out of my bra and started to suck on the nipple. I remember closing my eyes and moaning softly.

I pulled away then and started walking away. He grabbed me again and pulled me back, this time inside the men's restroom with a spoken intent of raping me.

I fought him this time, but eventhough he's shorter than me, he is stronger.

I was giggling a little as he half carried me to the restroom. There he again sucked, licked and bit my nipple, holding me close to him. He let me go and unzipped his pants. He took out his cock, which for some reason (possibly because it's just of average size), always makes me want to lick it whenever I see it. But this time I said no. Amazingly, I said no.

It's nice that she's making an effort. Haven't heard anything from the Obama side though. But hey, I'm an innocent Filipino bystander. I just wish politicians here would make this much of an effort to reach out to all the diverse citizens.


As I have traveled around the country these past twelve months, what I sensed in my heart has been confirmed – America is embracing its LGBT sons and daughters with an acceptance and understanding as never before. On the campaign trail, a father of a gay son will ask about ending Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell. A woman will ask why she can be discriminated against just because of who she is. Sometimes they wait furtively for the crowd to thin and then whisper their confidences in a soft voice and sometimes they stand up proudly at town meetings and want me to share my views on how I will help lead the change to assure that this country fulfills its promise to everyone.

Let me tell you what I have been telling voters across America. I am fully committed to the fair and equal treatment of LGBT Americans. For seven long years, the Bush Administration has tried to divide us - only seeing people who matter to them. It's been a government of the few, by the few, and for the few. And no community has been more invisible to this administration than the LGBT community.

I will change that. The best evidence of what I will do as President is what I have already done.

* I am proud of my record as First Lady, as a U.S. Senator and as a candidate for President in working toward the fair and equal treatment of LGBT Americans.
* I am proud that as Chair of the Senate Democratic Steering and Outreach Committee in 2006, I worked closely with LBGT community to develop a smart strategy that defeated the Federal Marriage Amendment. I am proud of fighting the FMA as divisive wedge politics at its worst.
* I am proud to be a co-sponsor of the Employment Non-Discrimination Act, the Matthew Shepard Local Law Enforcement Hate Crimes Prevention Act, and the Domestic Partnership Benefits and Obligation Act which would grant the same benefits (including health insurance) to domestic partners of federal employees that are currently offered to employees’ legal spouses.
* I am proud to have authored the Early Treatment for HIV Act, which expands access to vital treatment options for low-income individuals living with HIV, and fought to fully fund the Ryan White CARE Act.
* I am proud that I hired a National Director of LGBT Outreach within a month of announcing my candidacy for President and to have openly gay and lesbian staffers serving at all levels of my campaign.
* I am proud to have a National LGBT Steering Committee of over 130 that includes openly LGBT elected officials, Board members and opinion leaders on issues ranging from transgender rights, to HIV/AIDS, to “Don’t Ask Don’t Tell”.
* I am proud to have marched in Gay Pride parades as both First Lady and as Senator and to have spoken in front of so many LGBT audiences ranging from the Human Rights Campaign, Empire State Pride Agenda, the Hetrick Martin Institute, PFLAG (Parents, Families, and Friends of Lesbians and Gays), GMHC (Gay Men’s Health Crisis), and the American Foundation for AIDS Research.
* I am proud to have fought Republican efforts to demonize and marginalize the LGBT community, and I will continue to do that as President.

We have so much work to do. When I am President, we will work together to make sure that all Americans in committed relationships have equal benefits and that nothing stands in the way of loving couples who want to adopt children in need. We're going to expand our federal hate crimes legislation and pass the Employment Non-Discrimination Act and assure that they are both fully inclusive of all people. And finally, we will put an end to the failed policy of Don't Ask, Don't Tell. Courage, honor, patriotism and sacrifice – the traits that define our men and women in uniform – have nothing to do with sexual orientation.

My father was a conservative Republican, who held very traditional views for much of his life. Yet in his last years, it was a gay couple who lived next door who provided much of the compassion and comfort he and my mother needed as he grew ill. And it was that same neighbor who held his hand as he died. If my father can move, America can move.

To each and every LGBT American, I say this. You have done so much to help this country understand your lives by simply being open and honest about who you are and living your lives with dignity. Thank you for your courage. It is time that we recognize your hard work. I know that this country is ready for changes in the law that reflect the evolution in our hearts.

America deserves a President who appeals to the best in each of us, not the worst; a President who values and respects all Americans and treats all Americans equally no matter who they are or who they love. I want to be that President. I want to be your President. (grabbed from Perez Hilton)

Liar by Korn

Back in the day, I had a very fierce love affair with rap metal, embracing the music of Slapshock, Cheese, Greyhoundz, Badburn, Korn, and yes, even the now much derided Limp Bizkit. This music drove me insane with the beats and eventually led to other minor discoveries such as Skychurch and Kittie and all those other bands that my brother listens to (Meshuggah, Killswitch Engage, etc...)

I still have some of these songs on my iPod and was suddenly treated to this song by Korn, which strikes me as the perfect mood music to get into biting and fucking someone til they bleed.


My brother, you love her
But don't give up your instincts
Hang onto you know what
They'll be gone fast as you blink
They're trained to seduce you
Suck you dry quick as they can
They tried to reduce you
Now you're barely a man

Oh my God
How can you deny the flood
That's flowing through you

Hey you
You're saying that she's all that you desire
Liar
Hey you
You think you can throw water on this fire
Liar

It's not wrong to let go
And let the woman ride you
For fuck sake, don't lose touch
With the dog that's inside you
She wanted what you had
You bet she smelt the spore
Don't give up, fuck her up
One more time, slam that door

Oh my God
How can you deny the flood
That's flowing through you

Hey you
You're saying that she's all that you desire
Liar
Hey you
You think you can throw water on this fire
Liar

Oh my God
How can you deny the flood
That's flowing through you

Hey you
You're saying that she's all that you desire
Liar
Hey you
You think you can throw water on this fire
Liar

Oh my God
How can you deny the flood
That's flowing through you

Tuesday, February 5, 2008

Weirdly enough I had this song downloaded unknowingly into my iPod. It had me at the first line. And yes. I do like your pants around your feet.

I like your pants around your feet
And I like the dirt that's on your knees
And I like the way you still say please
While your looking up at me
You're like my favourite damn disease

And I love the places that we go
And I love the people that you know
And I love the way you can't say no
Too many long lines in a row
I love the powder on your nose

And now I know who you are
It wasn't that hard, just to figure you out
(Now I did, you wonder why)
And now I know who you are
It wasn't that hard, just to figure you out
(Now I did, you wonder why)

I like the freckles on your chest
And I like the way you like me best
And I like the way you're not impressed
While you put me to the test
I like the white stains on your dress

And I love the way you pass the cheque
And I love the good times that you wreck
And I love your lack of self-respect
While you passed out on the deck
I love my hands around your neck

And now I know who you are
It wasn't that hard, just to figure you out
(Now I did, you wonder why)
And now I know who you are
It wasn't that hard, just to figure you out
(Now I did, you wonder why)
(Why not before, you never tried)
(Gone for good, and this is it)

I like your pants around your feet
And I like the dirt that's on your knees
And I like the way you still say please
While your looking up at me
You're like my favourite damn disease

And I hate the places that we go
And I hate the people that you know
And I hate the way you can't say no
Too many long lines in a row
I hate the powder on your nose

And now I know who you are
It wasn't that hard, just to figure you out
(Now I did, you wonder why)
And now I know who you are
It wasn't that hard, just to figure you out
(Now I did, you wonder why)
(Why not before, you never tried)
(Gone for good, and this is it)

Monday, February 4, 2008

Tekken

We were in a room with other people who were either passed out drunk or asleep.

We were awake. You, me, and another boy I liked. The two of you were playing Tekken on the Playstation. I'd gone straight to this party after my flight arrived. Bv as usual facilitated things by asking you to sit on the couch next to me. Somehow, some way your legs ended up wrapped around me as I lay on top of you, my back to you, my butt against your crotch.

You told me to rest cos I was tired, having just come from my trip. I fell asleep that way, your body wrapped around me. I deliberately ignored the hickey on your neck.

I woke up and felt the round, hard heel of your foot pressed firmly but gently against my clit. I moaned softly, not wanting the other boy to hear. You kept on doing it. Using your foot to massage my pussy. Pressing gently. I was half asleep and still a little buzzed. I arched my back and gyrated my ass against your crotch.

I slid my hands down my tits. I want more than anything to feel your hands on me. You've been watching me even as you pretended to watch our friend play Tekken. Your fingers played at the edged of my tits, waiting for an opportunity. And as NYB focused on the game, you focused on massaging my right breast and squeezing my nipple.

I ached. Damn the fact we were in this house. Damn the fact I didn't feel like being upfront and asking you if you wanted to go somewhere else and fuck.

I placed my hand on your crotch and squeezed firmly but gently. I knew you were hard. And I wanted more than anything to lick that cock, take it in my mouth, suck it, massage it with my tongue.

I wanted to ride you, to beg you to fuck me.

But I didn't. I promised myself I'd take my cues from you. It will always be your call. And eventually, maybe, I can teach you everything I know.

The Pleasure Place

One of the things I pride myself on is the ability to teach people. No, this is not an ego post. I just enjoy telling people things they don't know. I don't push it in their faces, my inner Yodah just glimmers with glee whenever people learn things from me.

As I told NYB earlier today, I refrained from joining a recent conversation with other new young boys. Surprisingly, the conversation I refrained from actively participating in was about sex.

I am literally the last person to not enjoy a sex or a sexual conversation. But understanding that the kids involved were drunk, and that they were just kids, I did not join. If I had, my level of understanding would've blown their minds. They are immature and they don't really know what they're talking about. Sure they got the porn part of the thinking down, but when it comes to intellectual sex talk they still couldn't handle it. It's all machismo and bravado for them.

NYB is lucky because he's gotten some of my little pearls of wisdom. Like him knowing that there is a very good, yet mildly expensive sex toy store in Manila called The Pleasure Place.

Sure the website may be crappy but they have the essentials. And while no, I haven't bought anything from there yet (save for my black fishnet stockings and some underwear I bought as a gift), I know I will be buying some toys this year.

It's a great place for lovers, people and the curious. Some people actually giggle when they come in, I was mostly smiling, with the feeling of coming home.

Though I wouldn't dare buy all of them, I'd still buy some bondage gear and use them on willing partners. Well. I need to look for a boy toy first.